母親
母親
Remembering My Mother
母親一直到八十歲都體格健壯，性格開朗。80歲那年手術切除了一個腦部的良性腫瘤，不料恢復期間遇上了新冠疫情，中間摔了一次必須臥床，因為封城導致兩個姐姐無法進家照顧，而我遠在美國也無法回國探望。母親因長期臥床，加之腫瘤壓迫垂體，又感染新冠，導致嚴重的激素失調。她竟大病一場，命懸一線。所幸最終查明病因，進行替代治療，才慢慢甦醒過來。
Until she turned eighty, my mother enjoyed remarkably good health. She was strong, cheerful, and rarely ill. Then, within a short span of time, everything changed. After undergoing surgery to remove a benign brain tumor, she began what seemed to be a routine recovery. Instead, the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the country. A fall left her confined to bed, the lockdown prevented my two sisters from caring for her, and I, living in the United States, could do nothing but watch from thousands of miles away. Prolonged bed rest, pressure from the tumor on her pituitary gland, and a COVID infection together caused a severe hormonal imbalance. At one point she was critically ill, and we feared we might lose her. Thankfully, the underlying cause was finally identified. With hormone replacement therapy, she slowly regained consciousness and, little by little, began to recover.
本來一切向好，但去年父親的去世對她是又一記重擊，母親的身體開始惡化，後來更因為膽囊結石和胰腺炎不能正常飲食導致營養匱乏，最終沒有等到我回來，在深夜睡夢中安靜地離開了這個世界。
Just as life seemed to be turning the corner, my father’s passing the following year dealt her another devastating blow. Her health declined steadily afterward. Gallstones and pancreatitis eventually made it impossible for her to eat normally, leaving her increasingly weakened by malnutrition. In the end, she did not live long enough for me to return home. One quiet night, she slipped away peacefully in her sleep.
母親的一生
外公三十六歲就去世了，那時十六歲的母親成了家裡唯一的勞動力，還要照顧更年幼的弟弟妹妹。家裡窮、孩子多，學校也遠，母親斷斷續續沒有上過幾年學，但從小過目不忘，過耳能誦，又明事理善言談，街坊鄰居、我們兄弟姐妹甚至孫輩都喜歡聽她講故事。母親對長輩孝順，對晚輩慈愛，從來沒說過重話，更不用說打罵了，因此我家每年都被評為五好家庭。
My grandfather died at the age of thirty-six. My mother was only sixteen, yet she suddenly became the family’s sole source of labor while caring for her younger brothers and sisters. Poverty, a large family, and the long distance to school meant that her education was interrupted after only a few years. Yet she possessed an extraordinary memory. What she read, she remembered; what she heard, she could recite. She was thoughtful, warm, and gifted with words. Neighbors, my brothers and sisters, and later her grandchildren all loved listening to her tell stories. She honored her elders with quiet devotion and treated every younger member of the family with unfailing kindness. I cannot remember her ever speaking harshly to anyone, much less striking a child. Year after year, our family was recognized locally as a model household, but the true foundation of that home was my mother’s gentle character.
早年父親在外地教書工資微薄，是母親的勞動撐起了整個家。不管地裡家裡的手藝活，母親一學就會，所以即使困難時期，我們家也沒有真正地挨餓。後來家裡經濟改善，母親也停不下來，不僅給子女幫忙勞動，還把一個又一個孫子輩的孩子帶大，孩子們甚至平時都吃睡在母親的家裡。
In those early years, my father taught in another town, earning little as a schoolteacher. It was my mother’s tireless labor that kept our family going. Whether the work was in the fields or at home, she seemed able to master every new skill with remarkable ease. Even during the most difficult years, our family never truly went hungry because she always found a way to provide. As life gradually became more comfortable, she never slowed down. She continued helping her children whenever they needed her and, one after another, lovingly raised her grandchildren. For many of them, her home became a second home—a place where they ate, slept, and grew up under her constant care.
生命中的坎坷
母親的命運是坎坷的。小時候得了中耳炎，家裡窮看不起醫生，導致聽力受損。中年以後經常頭痛，我們也沒有注意到特別異常，直到八十歲的時候做了腦CT才發現蝶鞍部位的腦膜瘤，雖然是良性的，但已經壓迫視神經和垂體，做完手術後右眼竟然完全失明。左眼一度也幾乎失明，幸虧發現是白內障，手術後就恢復了視力。診斷清楚並進行替代治療後身體迅速好轉，但因為後來還是因為種種原因沒有完全康復，再加上胰腺炎導致身體機能惡化。
My mother’s life was never an easy one. As a child, she suffered from chronic ear infections, but poverty kept the family from seeking medical care, leaving her with permanent hearing loss. In middle age she often complained of headaches, yet none of us realized that anything serious lay behind them. It was not until she was eighty, when a brain CT scan was finally performed, that doctors discovered a meningioma in the region of the sella turcica. Although the tumor was benign, it had already compressed her optic nerves and pituitary gland. After surgery, she completely lost the vision in her right eye. For a time, the sight in her left eye also faded almost entirely, until cataracts were identified as the cause and successfully treated. Once the diagnosis became clear and hormone replacement therapy began, her condition improved remarkably. Sadly, she never fully regained her former strength, and pancreatitis eventually brought about a gradual decline in her health.
最後的告別
母親是樂觀豁達的，她並不畏懼死亡，但去世前兩個星期我們視頻時突然哭了，說她很想我，讓我提前回來，不要等到過年，否則就見不到她了。我還勸她不要多想，說住幾天院養幾天就好了。沒想到情況發展這麼快。
My mother faced life with remarkable optimism and rarely spoke of death with fear. Yet two weeks before she passed away, something changed. During a video call, she suddenly began to cry. She told me how much she missed me and asked if I could come home sooner instead of waiting until the New Year. ‘Otherwise,’ she said quietly, ‘you may not see me again.’ I tried to reassure her, telling her not to worry—that a few days in the hospital and some rest would surely help. None of us imagined how quickly everything would unfold.
永恆的盼望
母親以前最喜歡聽老家一位基督教先生，也是我本族的一位爺爺講故事，雖然在當時環境下沒有皈依基督教，但生命上肯定受基督教敘事哲學的極大影響。我相信母親的靈魂到了天家，在神預備的地方等待著和我重聚。
When she was younger, my mother loved listening to the stories told by an elderly Christian from our hometown, a respected elder in our extended family. Although she never formally became a Christian—a difficult decision in those years—I have no doubt that the biblical vision of life left a lasting mark on her heart. I believe that she is now at home with the Lord, resting in the place He has prepared, patiently waiting for the day when we will meet again.
我已經從青年時期的孜孜求索到了知天命的年紀，小時候就接觸過基督教，後來被基督的光照見，接受了基督的救贖，知道肉體的死亡並不是生命的終點，而是復活生命的開始。過去了塵世的勞累，靈魂去了天家，等待世界的末了和基督的再來，和主永遠同在。
As I have grown older, the restless searching of my youth has gradually given way to a quieter understanding of life. I first encountered Christianity as a child, and in time I came to embrace Christ’s redemption for myself. Because of that faith, I no longer see physical death as the end of life, but as the beginning of the resurrection promised by Christ. Earthly burdens come to an end, while the soul enters its eternal home, awaiting the return of Christ and the fulfillment of God’s kingdom.
真正的信仰
有人會問你怎麼保證神存在並且你信的是真神呢，說實話這個沒辦法證明也無需證明。假如神真的存在，我所相信的神給我死後復活，給我永恆的喜樂和榮耀。不相信的人什麼也得不到。假如神不存在，我還有盼望、自律、堅強、愛人如己、作鹽作光，相對不信的人也沒有任何損失，而且這些美德還能造就軟弱的人，拯救失喪的人。真正的信是活出來的，不是辯出來的。
People sometimes ask how I can be certain that God exists, or that the God I believe in is the true God. My honest answer is that faith cannot be proven in the way a mathematical theorem can, nor do I believe it needs to be. If God truly exists, then through Christ I have the hope of resurrection and the promise of everlasting joy in His presence. If He does not, I have still lived a life shaped by hope, self-discipline, perseverance, compassion, and a desire to be a light to others. I have lost nothing by believing. On the contrary, those virtues have strengthened my own life and, I hope, encouraged others along the way. In the end, faith is not something won through argument—it is something revealed in the way a person lives.
基督說認識到自己的虛空並需要依靠神的人是幸福的，又說凡勞苦擔重擔的人到我這裡來，我必使你們得安息。認識到自己的虛空需要閱歷、求索和頓悟，認識到自己依靠神需要責任、壓力和涵養。不是每個人都能信，但信的人真是有福的。
Christ taught that those who recognize their spiritual need are truly blessed, and He invited all who are weary and burdened to come to Him for rest. Such faith does not arise overnight. It often grows through years of experience, searching, responsibility, disappointment, and quiet reflection. Not everyone will come to believe, but those who do discover a peace that the world itself cannot give.
謹以此文紀念母親
謹以此文記念我的母親，這個世界上唯一視我為眼中瞳仁和掌上明珠並永遠守護我的人。
I dedicate these pages to the memory of my mother—the one person in this world who cherished me as the apple of her eye, treasured me beyond measure, and loved me with a devotion that never faded. Though she is no longer by my side, her kindness, her strength, and her quiet faithfulness remain with me, and always will.
2026年1月13日 · January 13, 2026
